From Junie B. to Willie S., no problem

Tonight we ran a few errands: first to McD's because I'm recovering from a middle of the night mystery ailment (lots of pain that makes us suspect kidney stones, yikes, say no more) and I decided to use that fact to get out of cooking. Then to Michael's for the right color green yarn due to a sudden spike in etsy sales (along with long overdue, belated birthday gifts promised to loved ones). And finally, an unexpected detour to the bookstore because the son had apparently been promised the right to further obsess on Jurassic Park by reading the book. It wasn't my idea, so don't give me that look.

Anyhoo.

We walked into the store and I casually mentioned that since the St. Louis Shakespeare Festival is coming up quickly, perhaps we should see about getting something kid-friendly that would help the kids work themselves into a frenzy of excitement over seeing Richard III. I recall as a child perusing some Shakespeare comic books, and that's the sort of thing I had in mind. Little E overheard and after a few moments announced that she, too, would "like to get something about Richard Three." So we approached the clerk who couldn't find any official kid books in stock, but showed me a series that mirrors the original text with "modern language" versions on the opposite page. It was cheap, and would probably be helpful to me the next time I decide to attempt reading the Bard, so I presented it to E and she decided it would be purchased. She really liked the rhyming title: No Fear Shakespeare .

She looked like a mini-college student wandering the store with her marbled black and white notebook and the Shakespeare cheat sheet (the notebook is her tribute to Harriet the Spy, they watched the movie today while I recovered from the aforementioned mystery malady, and E has decided that writing is her thing now, demanding the correct notebook and decorating it with a multi-colored "PRIVATE" sticker, just like Harriet's).

Back in the car E talked about how we could take turns reading the book out loud, and waxed poetic about how much she was looking forward to reading it in bed tonight. Her father said that she might want to leave the reading to Mommy, to which she indignantly replied "Daddy, if I can read a whole Junie B. Jones book in day I'm sure I can read Shakespeare."

I'm going to sneak a photograph of her reading the book, and then send it out to the whole family. "Take that, you homeschooling naysayers!!" Of course, one photo of a child with a Shakespeare book hardly makes up for the incredible lack of academic diligence that has been the norm in this house of late, but it sure will look cute in a photo album someday!

As it turns out, though, I came to understand Daddy's concerns and ended up insisting I will do the reading from now on: we cuddled up before bed to read the opening soliloquy and I had to cover the word "slut" in the modern version as E was reading! Also, the pre-pubescent-and-proud-of-it eldest child objected to the fact that the word "sexy" was in there, because he considers it a bad word, which of course we should never let them hear if we don't want them repeating it (he says) and so "there it is again! That word is everywhere! What are we supposed to do about it? Everyone is talking about it all the time," especially Mom, he says excitedly, pointing an accusing finger in my direction; it's Mom who is always trying to talk to him about S-E-X, so if anyone is to blame for his corruption it is I (I took that to mean that my attempts at "talking" with him are far more objectionable than Shakespeare could ever be). He was ready to move on to the gore of JP, and delighted in loudly informing me of the news that the book is far bloodier than the movie, calling me into his room to pantomime the raptor activity.

E was sad not to take Shakespeare to bed tonight, but found comfort in her Private Notebook in which, I am sure, she is composing an awesome essay contrasting and comparing Junie B. and the Bard.  

p.s. just so you know, I'm obviously not really one of those kinds of homeschooling parents whose children can quote and discuss Shakespeare at the drop of a hat. Perhaps I wish I were, but honestly, Junie B is as high as we normally aspire!!